i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
