Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
