i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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