just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
