he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am one with the molecules
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My feet surprised me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
