That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
