office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
