I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
