BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
