Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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