super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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