Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
