do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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