Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize