At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
