They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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