i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
