He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
