Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I licked your asshole in confidence.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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