We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
