A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
