remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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