the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
