Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
