a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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