you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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