walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
