have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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