found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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