chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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