Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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