I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
