the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
