this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
