ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
