Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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