Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
