doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
