u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
