My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
