Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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