Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
