its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
