you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
