So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
