That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
