Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize