She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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