She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
