Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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