I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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