I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize