Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize