The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
