the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
