I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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