I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
