I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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