how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize