The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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