We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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