Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
