We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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