I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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