I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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