so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
