i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
