I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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