It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
