Your mouth is God's brothel.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
