Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
