i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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