The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
