So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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