I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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