Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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