why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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