Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize