you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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