What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
