is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
