I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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