i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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