I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize