spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
