the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize