The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
