Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize